Band: Tankard
Title: A Girl Called Cerveza
Label: Nuclear Blast
Distribution: PIAS
Release date: 27/072012
Review: CD

What can I tell about this German act? Beer, hangovers and deliria? Or (sometimes exceptional) Thrash with a major fun-aspect? Well, in both cases I’m hitting the bull’s eye.
In fact, this act initially started as Avenger, followed by Vortex, and then Tankard, as from 1983 on. And if I’m not mistaken, it means something like a cup of beer.

The whole biography / discography can be found everywhere, anywhere on that worldwide thing made by spiders, so I will limit this initiation to: A Girl Called Cerveza is Tankard’s x-th full length studio record (maybe you will count both Tankward-albums along with etc…). It comes more than twenty five years after the first full length (Zombie Attack). The album was produced at Studio 23 with Michael Mainx, whom you might know from his work with e.g. Der W, Disbelief, Böhse Onkelz, Sub7even or D-A-D.

I remember being enormously enthusiastic with Tankard’s Thirst, their 2008-full length, and probably their best album to date; at least that’s my opinion. Vol(l)ume 14 (2010) was acceptable as well, but because of the very high potential of Thirst, you can imagine my disappointed opinion about this nugatory new album.

Nevertheless it starts rather promising, with “Rapid Fire”, continuing the path taken with the latest albums. But there it ends, sadly. No, it’s not that bad, but damn, what a lack of inspiration, what a dull performance, what a boring, nearly irritative stuff… A Girl Called Cerveza lacks of balls, it’s like too many cerveza’s encumbered Tankard’s creativity completely, and it does not get better at all. Only the opening track is in the vein of the latest efforts, yet as from then on, I am losing my interest completely. What a meaningless, empty bottle of nothingness; it’s like a beer created especially for anonymous (ex-) alcoholics with no interest in fun or creativity.

Even the guest appearance of my beautiful Dorothea Pesch can’t influence my final opinion…
[personal censorship for comparing this stuff with my grandmother’s pants…;o)]


Ivan Tibos.